what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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