You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops