what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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