Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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salad days!

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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ask me if im a door yes

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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