What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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haha

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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