How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops