- Anti Joke

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

Robin, get in the car!

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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