when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops