What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops