I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there? hope

thumb_up thumb_down -11

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

thumb_up thumb_down -11

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops