What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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I love pissing people off :P

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops