Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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