The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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