What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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