How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Knock knock Go away

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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