what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

My Nan, that is all.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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