Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops