How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

like most people my age. im 27

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Knock knock. Its open.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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