Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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roses are red poo is poo

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Emily Walker.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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