- Anti Joke

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Obama lin Baden.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

A woman wears a dress.

21

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Obama lin Baden.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

A woman wears a dress.

21

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Obama lin Baden.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.