A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops