What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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