Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Roses are flowers.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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Grace Ackerson

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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