Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops