A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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wenis

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops