Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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rarw

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were at work systems r down

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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