why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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