Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Your Mom The End.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops