whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down -33

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -35

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops