How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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