Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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