I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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