how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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