Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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No your aunties a joke

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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