A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Sex

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops