Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops