how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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brock has small hands for a small job

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Niall Horan

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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