How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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