how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

A baby seal walks into a club.

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

If you're happy and you know it get a life

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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