- Anti Joke

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback