Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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