roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Ehh

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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ewrg

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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