What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Whats 1+1? window!

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops