The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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why is this joke funny because your laughing

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Pickles are moist.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops