"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats fat and gay joe diragi

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Theres an app for the iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops