A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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