whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

Justin Beiber is a good singer

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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