A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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