My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

What do you call a black man? Rob

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

what do you call a young man? a little boy

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

sucks Syntax...

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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