What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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I? Everett

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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womans having rights.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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