Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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An man walks to a bra

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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