Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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