Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops