Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Roses are red.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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