Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Kys

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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